House of Balls inspires Dream of Lolz

I drove down to Athens yesterday to check out my house for next year and pick rooms. There are three lolz rooms and one balls room. The three are lolz because they are roughly the size of racquet ball courts. The balls room has enough room for a crib and one of those blue plastic elementary school chairs, which can be used for sitting in silent self-loathing contemplation of how balls the room is. The closet's clothes hanger pole is nailed in at a 45 degree angle, meaning anything attempted to be hung up will slide down the pole and knock down everything else. Last but not least, the "door" to the balls room looks like this:  

Minus Nicholson and plus lolzing roommates.

It should be obvious by now that I drew the short straw for the balls room.

Today while napping I expressed my outrage in lolz dream form. In my dream it I was moving out of my fancy OU beach hotel and into my house for next year. In the dream my house was in a really scary third world urban ghetto, which was located on a rocky hill sloping down towards a violent ocean. This may have been a reaction to the fact that a previous tenant warned us that the kitchen and the bathroom which are right next to my balls room flood whenever it rains.

Less obvious though is what inspired the identity of my roommate, who was the actor who played Johnny Cage in the Mortal Kombat movie, apparently we were the same age because he was a very mature looking child actor in the mid-90s. He didn't have a good answer for why he didn't appear in the less successful sequel Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.